Dipper Goes to Taco Bell (reupload)
by Brianna Fogg
Summary: Dipper has a craving for Mexican food, so he goes to Taco Bell while Mabel and Grunkle Stan go to the diner. But what happens at Taco Bell that day is unthinkable. Rated for one swearword.


It was a normal day in Gravity Falls, Oregon. Well, as normal as Gravity Falls gets, anyways. Dipper Pines was reading his book, and Mabel, his twin sister, was wondering what he was doing.

"Dipper, are you gonna keep your nose buired in that strange book of yours all summer? You gotta go out, have an adventure!" Mabel exclaimed.

"Not now," Dipper said quietly. "I'm trying to decode this." He was looking at a cryptogram that said, "XSLFA QBE QXZL YBII". Dipper was officially stumped. He could not figure out what it meant. And it seemed very mysterious to him.

"Grunkle Stan is gonna take us to the diner for lunch, Dipper!" Mabel exclaimed.

Dipper, however, was not in the mood for the diner. He was publicly humiliated the last time he went, and he thougt the food wasn't very good anyway. "Mabel, I don't want to go to the diner," Dipper said solemnly. "I want to go somewhere else."

"But there is really nothing else in town, unless you count the Taco Bell near the forest." Mabel replied.

"Taco Bell?" Dipper's ears perked up. He had never eaten at Taco Bell before, and ever since last week, he had a craving for Mexican food for some reason. "Why don't we go to Taco Bell today?" Dipper asked.

"Taco Bell?" Grunkle Stan questioned. "Why d'you wanna go THERE? It smells like the bathroom when it gets clogged."

"I had my heart set on pancakes," Mabel moaned.

"Listen, you can go to Taco Bell if you want to, but don't come crying to me when you smell like expired onions."

"Fine, I will," Dipper said harshly.

"Don't let the door hit you on the way out," Grunkle Stan said. But as he was exiting the Mystery Shack, the door hit him on the way out.

"AH HA HA HA HA HA!" said Grunkle Stan. He was laughing.

So anyways, Mabel and Grunkle Stan went to the diner, while Dipper tried to find the Taco Bell. He had brought with him his book and a couple bucks. But finding the Taco Bell was harder than he had previously thought. He had been looking around town for what seemed like days. The Mystery Book wasn't helping him either. Until he saw a flicker of a sign in the forest. He went into the forest.

"Why would there be a Taco Bell in the forest?" Dipped asked himself.

After hiking for about an hour, Dipper finally got to the Taco Bell. But it sure didn't look like any Taco Bell he'd ever seen. It was surrounded by a barrage of giant Oak trees, in an open field, completely different from the rugged terrain of the Oregon forest. The open field was covered with at least three layers of pine needles, which got the attention of Dipper. He stuck his hand into the pine needles.

"OW!" Dipper shouted. A pine needle poked him. It hurts.

The restaurant, Taco Bell, looked like a silo, sort of. Well, it was very cylindrical. The outside had rusty picnic tables, and it looked like no one used them at all. Dipper walked up to the resturant's door.

"Should I go in there?" Dipper asked himself. "I'm starting to have second thoughts. Why is there a small, desolate, Taco Bell in this forest, miles from the nearest road? But I guess it's my only option. Mabel and Grunkle Stan are probably don with lunch right now."

And they were. Mabel wondered why Dipper hadn't come back yet, but Grunkle Stan didn't give a damn.

So Dipper entered the resturant. But he was relieved to see that the interior was normal, except for its high celing. There were also no customers inside, but Dipper thought that was normal, considering how the franchise was so isolated. He went up to the counter. There was only one cashier working the registers. A very old, slightly deaf, bored out of his skull cashier. Dipper decided what he wanted to order, than approached the register.

"Excuse me, I'll hav—"

"WE ONLY GOT TACOS!" the cashier interrupted.

"Ok, I guess I'll have a taco, then." Dipper said.

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" the cashier yelled.

"I SAID I WANT A TACO." Dipper yelled back.

"Ok, then." The cashier said, then went in the back for a few minutes. When he came out, he was carrying Dipper's taco. "That'll be one dolla," the cashier said.

Dipper gave him the money, and went to sit down at the least grimiest table. He bit into the hot, spicy, juicy taco, filled with thick, pure, meat, mild, tantalizing black beans, and sour, fluffy, sour cream. He enjoyed the single bite of that perfectly cooked taco, and still tasted it in his mouth after he swallowed it.

But as he was about to bite into it a second time, he felt a churning movement inside his body, something that he had felt often. "Uh-oh," Dipper said, then rushed to find the lavatory.

"Man, that really went through me," Dipper said to himself. For some reason, the bathrooms were hidden in a corner, far from the counter, and far from the table he was sitting at. When he walked in, he found that the bathrooms were surprisingly clean, for a fast food resturant, anyway. And Dipper found this suspicious. All of the stalls were full, and no one was using the urinals.

But, right on cue, someone walked out of one of the stalls. Dipper didn't pay much attention to who was walking out, but he was wearing all black, and had a plastic bag with him. Dipper just had to go.

He used the bathroom in the nick of time. He finished his taco and he went home.


End file.
